Monday, May 21, 2012

a helpful chart & guide.

Here, it's legal for folks to be publicly naked as long as they're not causing a total ruckus. I've learned to identify nude passersby from far away, which allows me the good fortune of averting my eyes early on...
Here's what to look for so you don't have to look!!

a) a far-away pedestrian who seems to be all one fleshy color 
between the neck and ankles.

If you suspect (a) to be true, verify your findings by consulting (b)

b) Look for a space-cushion radius of 3-6 feet around suspected 
naked-person (because no one wants to walk super close to the 
naked guy in tennis shoes).

If you find (a) and (b) to be true, I recommend wasting no time and quickly activating the being-really-interested-in-your-phone-technique or the suddenly-very-turned-around-and-looking-up-at-all-the-street-signs (with squinty/confusion-filled-eyes to make it believable) approach until the coast is clear!

. . .

p.s. I know that many places on earth have nudists besides San Francisco. My chart is just meant for funny's sake.


  1. HAHA! OH.MY.GOSH!! Totally didn't know that about SF. Pretty sure I'd be the awkward lady that starts sweating and stammering, failing to be-very-interested-in-cell-phone and make everyone around feel uncomfortable. If I ever visit you I will practice calmly saying something like, "nice to meet you Adam and Eve" :)

  2. Summer, it has been a surprising realization to me too!! I love your description of what you imagine you'd do. The good news is that these sightings are very infrequent so if you visit, there's a really good chance you wouldn't have to deal with it at all : )

    Hope PA is great. Love you guys!